Start of Spring Break

I'm currently on vacation in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. I'm having a lot of fun (my roommate and her family are extraordinarily generous and pleasant) but because of this I don't have much time to blog. So, until next week, you'll have to make due with extremely short posts. I did update my writing tab (finally) though, so feel free to peruse that. The nonfiction piece I posted (Heat) was for a class assignment, and I'm not a huge fan of it, but I wanted to post something today. So there you go.

For anyone who is interested, I am extremely sunburned.

The Graveyard Book

Let me start off by saying that Neil Gaiman is awesome! He does pretty much everything, he's written novels for children and for adults, graphic novels, and I want to say an episode of Dr. Who. He has such a unique mind and is able to create all these surreal worlds and people while still making them absolutely believable. So far I have only read The Graveyard Book and Neverwhere, but they were both beautifully dark books and I would completely recommend them. 

The Graveyard Book is the story of Nobody 'Bod' Owens, a real-life boy who grows up in an old graveyard, raised by ghosts. A mysterious man, Jack, murdered Bod's family when he was just a-year-and-a-half old. Luckily, the friendly ghosts from the graveyard up the hill protect Bod and take him in as one of their own. Growing up in a graveyard is, as you can imagine, quite different then growing up in the real world. Bod meets deceased people from times long ago, learns the ghostly arts of Fading and Dreamwalking from his tutor, has an encounter with the unknowable Sleer, and is almost killed by ghouls. The Graveyard Book follows Bod on all these adventures, watching him grow up and (as cliche as it sounds) find himself.

A bit of a disclaimer, the book is dark. It starts out--literally--with a knife, with murder. As adult readers, we often expect children's books to be happy and light, but that is underestimating a child's ability to understand the darker aspects of life. Neil Gaiman doesn't baby the children, I guess you could say, which I really like. Madeleine L'Engle spoke of children's great ability to grasp concepts that we don't give them enough credit for when she said, "You have to write the book that wants to be written. And if the book will be too difficult for grown-ups, then you write it for children." The Graveyard Book is a book that is written well, and written for children.

**SPOILERS**

Sorry for the spoilers, but I don't think there's a way to talk about this book effectively without giving something away. I found this book incredibly sad--in a good way, definitely, but sad all the same. Bod, like his guardian, Silas, is an in-between person. He is neither fully living or fully dead. It is a coming of age story (bildungsroman) so by definition the protagonist is in-between, but the isolation of being in between the living and the dead is much different then being between childhood and adulthood. Even Bod's name, Nobody Owens. Nobody owns him, nobody can claim him as their own, he has no kin. And then at the end of the book, as Bod is becoming more and more invested in the corporeal world he is no longer able to see his ghostly friends and family. It is incredibly poignantly sad that he is being thrust out into the world with no connections and friends, leaving behind everything and everyone he knows. But there is hope. There is the hope of real life and all the experiences Bod is aching for and there is also the hope that when his time comes, Death will return Bod to his home in the graveyard. It's just...it's so good.

Just on a side note, I found Neil Gaiman's descriptions of the inverted cemetery wall in the ghouls world and the way the ghouls moved to be amazing.

**END SPOILERS**

A book club I'm in here at Clemson just did The Graveyard Book, and there is honestly just so much to talk about that I don't quite know where to stop. I feel like everything could be its own post, but I'm not really into doing a series so I think we'll just leave it as it is. But if you want, you could think about how the protagonists of children's books are so often orphans, or what really makes a person 'Alive', or why growing up stopped Bod from being able to see the ghosts or some other question that you think might be relevant. I don't know, just go with it.

All in all, I wholeheartedly recommend The Graveyard Book and Neil Gaiman as a whole. I need to get my hands on some more Gaiman! If you want to find him, go here. He writes a lovely little blog that I follow as well.

I am listening to Washed by the Water by Needtobreathe

Survival of the Fittest

I've had several pets in my lifetime, though few have survived. I don't know what it is about my family, but we just don't seem to deal well with pets. It all started out before I was born, so I know that I'm not the one to blame--obviously it's my parents' curse. We had a dalmatian named Ashley, with one blue eye and one brown one. I have very few memories of her: she was scared of thunderstorms, she refused to play fetch, preferring to look at the ball disdainfully, she loved green beans but not peas, and she had one leg that didn't work.

The accident that cost Ashley the use of her leg happened before I was born. Dad wanted to show her (like in those creepy dog shows) and was training her at the horse tracks where she liked to jump over the hurdles. After doing a few laps, he took her up to his friend's office on the fourth floor. Ashley took one look around, spotted the open window, and jumped through it just like a hurdle. She lived, but only thanks to a stranger across the street who called animal services when he saw a dog, legs flailing, plummet the four stories to the ground. What I wouldn't give to see the expression on that guy's face! So she broke her leg to the point where it never fully straightened again. She got the hang of it eventually, even was able to run, but for a few months my dad had to carry her to the bathroom. That's dedication.

The next animal was my hamster, Snowball. I should have known things would turn out badly the moment I looked into his beady red eyes at the pet store and he bit my finger til it bled. Snowball and I did not get on well. I, admittedly, wasn't the best pet owner. I often forgot to feed him or give him water, and I refused to clean his cage point-blank. It came as no surprise when my mother and I went to go feed little Snowball one day only to find that he'd chewed his way through his plastic cage. We looked for him everyone--under the bed, behind the couch, in the closets, under the sink, everywhere. We looked until we expected to find only a tiny hamster skeleton. I wasn't too choked up about the loss.

 2 months later we found Snowball, resiliently and unbelievably alive. Behind the washing machine. He'd been living off Ashley's dog food.

So, we got a new cage and stuck him back in it. A few months later, he'd chewed his way out again. This time we didn't bother looking too hard, knowing he'd turn up eventually. Quite a while later, Mom was clearing out the back of her closet and found a tiny, chewed hole through the baseboard of the house...Snowball. Mom screamed, and I never saw my oh so beloved hamster again. He ran away; chewed straight through the house just to get away from me. I like to think that there is a herd of snow-white hamsters living in the woods behind my house, they're monstrous red eyes and talons terrorizing the neighborhood.

My next encounter with pets was birds. In my defense, they weren't my birds and it wasn't my fault. I was babysitting my friend's two birds (Sonny and Sandy, colored blue and green respectively) while she went to visit family in Texas over Christmas vacation. My dad, the jokester that he is, decided it would be super funny to let the birds out of their cage so they could fly around the house and annoy Mom. He probably should have turned the fan off first.

That's right. I walk in the room just in time to see a little blur of green get smacked by the ceiling fan and thrown into the wall, little tufts of feathers floating down in its wake. I don't know how, but the thing survived. I almost felt guilty taking my friends 'thank you' present...almost.

Then there was the cat. Nothing dramatic has happened to Shadow, but she's annoying as hell. Every morning, between 1 and 3am, Shadow decides to make some noise. I don't know why, I've never asked. She climbs into my bookshelves, and begins knocking my books onto the ground one by one. Thud. Thud. Thud....THUD! This is immediately followed by me forcibly removing her from the room. Occasionally I 'accidentally' throw her into the wall at the other end of the hallway, but she always lands on her feet.

After Shadow we got fish. A LOT of fish. My dad likes to do spontaneous things while Mom and I are on vacation. We go to grandma and grandpa's while he has to work? He buys a big screen tv. Mom goes to work and gets home late? He buys a boat. No lie, he legit bought a boat. We go to Spain for a pilgrimage? He buys a 50 gallon fish tank. It's just what he does.

So, if you have a 50 gallon fish tank you obviously need fish. We had fish of every kind (and several different batches as they all died out, but let's focus on the first). We had blind albino frogs, sucker fish, elephant fish, pretty fish, ugly puffy fish, guppies, baby shark looking things, green fish, beta fish, and tiger fish. I had one fish that I grew quite attached to, Tiger. He had a little tiger-striped tail that was adorable and he could out-swim most of the predators in the tank. It became evident pretty early on that the fish were being eaten, but rather than fix the problem and save the fish my dad decided it was 'survival of the fittest'. Tiger was one of the last to go, and I mourned him for weeks. 

The most interesting fish in our tank were the frogs. They were white with red eyes (just like Snowball) and were blind. This was particularly entertaining at feeding time, because they couldnt' see the food or the other fish, so they just swam around blindly and ran into everything. Including the sides of the tank. It was hilarious!

Our next pet was Abby, another spontaneous purchase by my father. She is a black lab-golden retriever mix that we rescued. She and her siblings were trapped in a storm drain and she was the only one who survived. She is lovable and friendly and we haven't managed to kill her yet so that's a plus. But that's not to say we haven't come close.

Dad bought an electric fence for her so that we wouldn't have to walk her anymore. We were all ecstatic. Dad and I worked together to get it all set up, adjust the perimeter and power level of the collar, and then stuck the thing on her. We were heading out to walk her around and train her to know where the fence was. We'd just gotten to the door when her collar started beeping.

 ME: "That's weird."

DAD: "Yeah." 

We ignored it and kept going. Abby got two feet before the collar shocked her...at the highest level. We had gotten the levels mixed up; we meant to put it on the highest perimeter and the lowest shock-level, but did the opposite instead. I know, we're smarties. Abby paid the price for it though. I'll never forget her little black body leaping into the air, her howls echoing down the road. We haven't used the fence since.

The next pet is my turtle, Grady Bubba. My best friend from home and I each got a turtle; hers is named Brady. They are little red-eared sliders, I believe, and don't require much maintenance or money, which makes them the perfect college pet! Grady just sits on my desk, never complaining or knocking books off. I only have to clean his tank once a week and feed him, like, twice. His low-maintenance attitude hasn't been all good, however. I kind of forgot him over Thanksgiving break...but he's still alive! Alive and well, and now my roommates remind me to feed him and take him home with me, so it all worked out.

My family also has an iguana now. His name is Marley and he lives in the empty 50 gallon fish tank. My dad bought him for my brothers 15th birthday. You could say it was an unusual present, as Richard had never expressed any interest in iguanas, but that's the kinda bloke Dad is. An unusual one. Marley is alive and normal as far as I know. He doesn't like it when you get close to his tank, but other than that he never moves. Seriously, he is the most boring present ever.

And those are my family's pets: two dogs, a cat, a hamster, countless fish, a turtle, and an iguana. I vote we go for a goat next.

Dance Marathon

Dance Marathon was an interesting experience. There was definitely a lot that could be improved upon and that was worse than last year, but there was some good parts too. I'll focus on the bad first so we can end on a high note, shall I?

The most major problem this year was the lack of advertising. If you weren't already a part of Dance Marathon, or if your sorority or fraternity didn't already have a team, you didn't know anything about it. NOBODY knew it was happening, and thus the turnout sucked. As a consequence of this, we raised less money, had a ton of leftover t-shirts, and had only 5 non-staff dancers stay the whole night. FIVE!

I'm not counting the pledges. There was a fraternity that required their pledges to stay the whole night, but they snuck off and slept and ended up sitting down, so I don't count them. They didn't participate (except for when we played dodgeball) and had surly attitudes that made me want to shove cancerous children in their faces til they'd cried so much they were dehydrated.

Because nobody stayed the whole night, our Schedule of Activities kind of disintegrated by 3 a.m. We just gave up on the games and teaching that god-awful morale dance and let everybody chill, which was okay, except you got really bored and really tired really fast. But our schedule was pretty much shit anyway. We didn't start until an hour later than we were supposed to, so everybody had a lot of bored-down time when they arrived--not a good way to start a 16 hour dance marathon.

One of my fellow morale team members had a lot of good suggestions for what to do next year, and she's planning on joining the exec team to get her voice heard. Some of her more stellar ideas were: a bouncy castle, mood lighting (bright lights does not promote dancing), better advertising, not having it form 5 p.m.-9 a.m., but from 12 p.m.-4 a.m. or something, NOT making it longer, a simpler morale dance, vegetarian/Catholic during Lent food options, not allowed to leave, and tons of others that made a lot of sense to me at 5 in the morning that I'm having trouble remembering right now.

So that was the bad, but what about the good? There were some definite improvements from last year. First of all, I didn't have to pay extra for the morale tank top, and I got to get a t-shirt of every color since we had so many left-over. The morale dance was a full two mintues shorter than last year, although I still think it's a little too complicated for the masses to learn and memorize at 4 in the morning.

The entertainment this year was also a lot of fun. We had TigerRoar and Take Note (Clemson's premier a cappella groups) come and sing to us, which was fabulous! Clemson's gospel choir came, the dance team, Tigerstrut, a yoga instructor, a relaxation instructor, a breakdancing teacher, an isolations teacher, a jazzer-size instructor, a zumba instructor, and a belly-dancing teacher. We also had a lot of fun games that worked well this year (or at least better than last year). The most successful games we had were a fun partner game that I think is called Monkey-in-a-Tree, Human Knot (*cough*my idea*cough*) , Hula Hoop Pass, and Dodgeball (*cough*my idea*cough*). So there was a lot going on and plenty to keep you entertained...in the beginning. I don't know why but from the hours between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m. we had NO entertainment. I understand people might not want to come out and teach a jazzer-size class that late, but really? Those are the toughest hours! That's when we need all the distraction from our aching feet and drooping eyes that we can get!

I will say that I was a heck of a lot less sore this year than last year. I don't know if it's just because I knew what to expect or what, but I felt fine...well, not completely fine. My feet hurt like crazy and my sleep schedule is all out of whack, but it wasn't as dramatic as last year.

I know that overall this has been a pretty bitchy post, but I don't want to discourage you from participating in Dance Marathon at all. This is Clemson's third year doing DM, and we obviously still have a lot of bugs to work out, but it is totally worth it! Because the tiredness and aching feet and piss-poor four-in-the-morning attitude is all FTK, For The Kids. And that's what it's all about.

If you want to learn more about Dance Marthon, go here. I encourage you to do it!

While this year's Dance Marathon might not have been everything I was hoping it would be, I still think it falls under the category of 'do something'. So that's another step towards my goal :) It's the bright side, bitches, the bright side!

Hold That Door!

Dance Marathon is TONIGHT!! Can you believe it? The Morale Team and I have been preparing for months and it's finally here! Excitement!

As excited as I am, I'm not going to talk about Dance Marathon just yet. I want to go, experience the fun, and come back to tell you all how it went down in great detail. You know you're stoked. But what I want to talk about today was inspired by Dance Marathon.

My team within the Morale Team is running a 3 hour segment of the show (3-6am YES!). This means that for those three hours, we are in charge of entertainment, music selection, games, etc. One of the games we chose to play is a Clemson version of Family Feud. Cute, right?

So, if you're familiar with Family Feud at all, you know that they survey 100 people, take their answers to random/weird questions, and make the contestants try to guess the top answers. So we surveyed--mostly science lectures--with our random questions and tallied up their answers. What do people wear everyday besides clothes? Jewelry. What are Clemson professor's pet peeves? Tardiness. What tells the time in your house besides a clock? Sundial.... yeah, sundial was the legit top response. I don't know what people were thinking. We also had one Einstein write 'bird'. If any of you can tell the time with a bird, I'd be interested to learn.

But the answer that I found most interesting was to the question: Something a picky girl finds wrong with her date?

Top Answer: Doesn't hold the door open for her.

This surprised me. Don't get me wrong, door-holding is important. It shows manners and courtesy and just makes me feel ladylike. But the top answer? Over clothes and hair? Really? I guess I just never realized how much emphasis we put on holding the door open.

We do need to take into account that this is the South. I've heard all the jokes, read the discussion boards, and as much as Northerners will try to deny it, the consensus seems to be that we Southerners are in general a politer bunch. Less straightforward, sure, and a heck of a lot more gossipy, but we've got ready-for-grandma manners out the wazoo.

So the fact that I go to a southern school chock-full of never-seen-snow-confederate-grandbabies probably affected the answer. But it did make me think about how much it means to me whether or not a man holds the door (or anybody, really. If you're walking in front of me and you let the door swing in my face, you are immediately on my shit-list). I went to camp my junior year of high school, where one of the counselors told us young ladies something we should live our lives by: If a man doesn't hold the door open for you, automatically check him off the 'possible husband' list. I found it a little extreme at the time, but I do find myself muttering 'jackass' under my breath and glaring at anybody who doesn't hold the door open. It's not hard! And it's just polite. At least, I thought it was polite until I found this little gem while researching:

Still, whether they're checking out our asses or not, it is apparently very important to women that their date holds the door open for them. So, gentlemen, if you want to impress your gal, here is a website that goes in depth into the intricacies of holding the door open. Enjoy, and don't let her know you're looking at her booty!

In other news, I have met a boy who holds the door...and buys me sandwiches and cookies without me asking...and says I have beautiful eyes...I pretty much want to scream into a pillow--and not the angry kind of screaming. The good kind. I'm not going to read too much into it though. I'm not. He seems like a bit of a flirt, so he probably doesn't mean anything by it. But it's always nice to hear you have beautiful eyes :)

For those of you keeping score at home, this isn't K, or should I say, Creepy K. This is...Rockstar. Let's call him Rockstar.

I am listening to Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic.

Harry Potter vs Twilight

My roommate Whitney is reading Harry Potter for the first time. I know! I don't know how she's lasted this long either. She apparently read the first chapter of the first book in 7th grade and decided she hated it. Grrr.

This has actually been a point of contention between the two of us for a while now. I normally love Whitney, but when it comes to books I want to strangle her. Seriously. If we judged the human race on their taste in literature, killing everyone with bad taste, Whitney would (unfortunately) be one of the first ones to go. She loves Nicholas Sparks....yeah. And has never read anything outside of the YA novel genre except for school. But what really got my goat was how she kept saying that Twilight is better than Harry Potter! She literally said:

"Okay, so Harry Potter might be better written, but you have to admit that Twilight's plot is sooo much better!"

I think I actually screamed. I haven't let her live it down. She's recently started seeing a boy (they're in the 'talking' phase if that means anything to you) who is a Harry Potter fan. We were all together talking about Whitney anecdotes, which, because she has no verbal filter, there are quite a few of. I brought up the aforementioned Harry Potter quote. The boyfriend was appropriately disgusted, and NOW she's promised to read the books. Nevermind that I've been asking her to read them for years, but whatever.

What all this Harry Potter/Twilight business made me think of is the Great Debate of which one is the best. It's been around since the original Twilight came out and is still plaguing the YA book world today. But I would say that this is a question wrongly asked. If you asked me which series I prefer, which I think gives a better message, which has better writing, I would answer Harry Potter hands down. But at the same time, are these books even in the same category? Are they even comparable? Or is it more like apples and oranges? Both books, but otherwise completely different? To get my thoughts out there, here is what I think about the Harry Potter vs. Twilight Debate!

The way I'm going to do this is by focusing on Twilight, what I think is good about it, what is bad, and what is ambiguous, and then how Harry Potter compares in each of these categories. 

Twilight: The Good

• Appealing/Phenomena:

• Even if you hate it, you've probably still read all the books. There's just something about them--don't ask me what--that draws you in. I hated myself he whole time I read Breaking Dawn. With every page I turned I muttered 'Why the hell am I reading this? I hate myself, I hate myself, I hate myself' but I still kept reading and I finished it in less than a day. As awful as they are, the sheer enormity of the (mostly female) fanbase speaks for itself. There is something appealing about these books that is undeniable.
• And as much as we don't want it to be, Twilight is a phenomena. It is one of the things that will mark our generation and go down in histories of pop culture. It's huge.
• I would say that Harry Potter is just as appealing, but in different ways. This is where we get into the 'a question wrongly asked' side of the argument. These books are aimed at different audiences, were written for different purposes, to get across different messages, they're completely different. But, if you do want to compare the two, I would say Harry Potter beats Twilight in both appealing and phenomena. 
• Harry Potter is appealing to a wider audience than Twilight. Because of the hot guys, the teenage girl narrator, and romance in Twilight, it is appealing mostly to women. Harry Potter, on the other hand, is appealing to any age and gender.
• Harry Potter is also a bigger phenomena. There has been more fanfiction written about Harry Potter than Twilight, and Harry Potter has its own genre of music called wizardrock. They also have a theme park and an annual conference. Beat that, Twihards. Ahem.

Twilight: The Bad

• The Actors:

• Kristen Stewart. Ugh, right? I don't like that she has absolutely no expression on her face EVER and I just don't like her personality in general. Here is a photo comparing Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson's facial expressions:

I think this pretty much says it all.

• Robert Pattinson. He's my favorite actor of the bunch...but that's probably because he was in HP first. I do think his acting is the least painful.
• Taylor Lautner. HOT. I will admit that he is one sexy beast, but anyone who's seen Abduction would agree with me that he can't act worth a damn. He is literally just a pretty face--you know what? Not even a pretty face. A pretty chest. Pretty abs. Pretty arms. His acting is, IMO, the worst in the films.
• As you can probably already tell, I like Harry Potter's actors much better. They aren't the best actors in the world (except for Emma Watson--she is) but they're a heck of a lot better than Twilight. And I would rather marry Tom Felton over Taylor Lautner any day.

• The Characters:
• I hate the characters. Bella Swan is an awful female role model. There are so many kick-ass girls/women in literature, and then you have Bella Swan, a winy little bitch. She makes me physically angry. The main issue I have with her is that the book portray her as needing a man in her life, of being incapable of 'saving herself' as it were. The men aren't...bad. Edward and Jacob fulfill their purpose very nicely, which is to be two cardboard-esque characters that you can easily fall in love with. Alice is a fucking moron.
• The characters aren't well-developed, and that's that. Without a well-developed character, the story's bound to suck ass.
• Harry Potter has very well-developed characters that have strengths, weaknesses, hopes, dreams, character flaws, secrets, shames, etc. Even the background characters are done beautifully, showing how much effort J.K. Rowling put into the work. And her characters aren't just 'bad guys' and 'good guys', but are morally ambiguous just as people are in real life.
• Nobody Dies:
• Most people might not put the fact that nobody dies under the bad section, but I sure as hell do. Because there is (supposed to be) a gigantic battle at the end of the 4th book, and because there is fighting throughout the series, it would be more realistic if somebody from the good side died. Personally, I recommend Alice.
• J.K. Rowling isn't afraid to kill her darlings. *SPOILERS* Fred dies, Dobby dies, Dumbledore dies, Sirius dies, Remus dies, Tonks dies, Colin Creevey dies, Cedric dies, Harry kinda dies--there's lots of death *END SPOILERS* all this death makes the books seem more realistic, it makes us respect Rowling more, it adds actual suspense because you know that she isn't afraid of killing people you like, so no one is safe, and it just makes the books deeper, if that makes sense.
• The Movies:
• The movies suck. I saw Breaking Dawn (at midnight with Whitney, Jesus) and I have to say my favorite part was the wolf scene. It was ridiculous.
• I actually have quite a few issues with the Harry Potter movies, but they're better than Twilight's at any rate.
• The Message:
• Twilight is all about 'Will Edward and Bella get together? Will they kiss? Who will she choose? Are they going to have sex??' I don't like this.
• Harry Potter is also about love as well, but a much less physical love--there are many types, you realize. There is familial love, love between friends, love for humanity (i.e. charity and good will), unrequited love, and romantic love all within Harry Potter. Harry Potter is about standing up for what's right, having courage in all it's forms, and about the power of the underdog. Harry Potter is, quite simply, about magic...and Twilight's about sex.

Twilight: The Ambiguous

• The Writing: 

• The writing is one of the most criticized aspects of the Twilight Saga--and rightfully so. It is the author's job to make the characters believable and well-developed, the plot engaging, to get the overarching meaning across etc. And it is true that Stephanie Meyer fails to do a lot of this...but it's not all her fault. A lot of what is wrong with Twilight should have been fixed by an editor. That's what they're there for. For instance, in my earlier version of Twilight the word 'college' is spelled 'collage'...Seriously? An editor couldn't catch that? So yes, the writing isn't very good, but I mostly blame the editor. As a book-editor-wannabe myself, I want to find and punch Megan Tingley in the face.
• I found this, which is a great example of how Twilight should have been edited. Enjoy.
• I also wanted to put the writing in the ambiguous category because Twilight was Meyer's first book. She admittedly didn't improve (the books all went downhill, if you ask me. Breaking Dawn was a piece of shit), but she wasn't an author by trade when she submitted the manuscript. She had a story, a story that teenage girls and middle-aged women everywhere would fall in love with, and gave it a shot. The fact that an idea for a story came to her in a dream and she took the time and put in the effort to actually make a book about it and then get it published is really quite inspirational.
• No question, here. J.K. Rowling is a fantastic writer. I don't think I need to elaborate.

• The Plot:

• This is another one of those things most people would put under 'bad'. And they'd be right; the plot sucks. But let's take it a bit further and look one book at a time. 
• Twilight: As I've already mentioned, this one is the best of the worst. Edward and Bella meet, there is a bit of mystery and intrigue (or at least there would be if we didnt' know he was a vampire from reading the back cover already), there is a complication (James), real danger/suspense (or at least there would be if it weren't written in first person, so we know Bella lives), and a resolution (Bella lives!). It might not be the most intricate plot, but it's got something. Personally, I think the books should have stopped here. It was a good resolution and I didn't hate the characters with such a burning passion as I would grow to upon reading the others.
• New Moon: This book isn't as badly plotted as later books, but it isn't good either. The main effect of this book is that it shows us exactly how much of an effing pansy Bella is and how irrational and overdramatic Edward can be. Still, there is danger and a resolution, and the plot is pretty easy to follow.
• Eclipse: I'm going to be honest, I don't remember this book at all. But that probably says enough about the plot.
• Breaking Dawn: WORST book by far! I don't like the book all around, but my main pet peeve is the nonexistent battle scene at the end. The entire book they're hyping us up that the Volturi are coming and they've got to get prepared to protect Renesmee and blah blah blah. But then...nothing happens. Some random half-vampire who we've never seen before  swoops in and the Volturi's all 'Ohhh, okay, there's two of them? Well, shoot, that's fine then! We'll just head on home--look for our Christmas card!' I mean, what is that? There is so much that is wrong with this book that it needs a blog post of its own, but just suffice to say that the plot sucks.
• So now that I've spent all that time bashing the plot, why did I put it in the ambiguous column? I put it here because as much as the plot sucks, the story still draws us in. That's gotta count for something. As much as it pains me.
• Do we even need to do this? Harry Potter has a beautifully crafted and intricate plot that Twilight can only dream of comparing to.

• The Fans:
• I judge Twilight fans a little bit. They are in the ambiguous column because I automatically think they're stupid for being a Twilight fan (bad) but their sheer numbers, dedication, and size (good) mean they're not entirely bad. They sure are invested fans, I'll give them that.
• Harry Potter has a very special fanbase. There aren't really words to describe it...it's just so many cool, awesome, intelligent, dreamer-people working together to love Harry Potter and spread that love. In what other fandom can you find something like wizardrock? The fanfiction (good and bad)? A Very Potter Musical and Sequel? Harry Potter fans are just awesome all around.

So, there you have it. If you try and compare the two, Twilight obviously comes out the loser. But on its own, without comparison, Twilight is an entertaining, engaging, romance-driven YA series with a devoted fanbase and extremely popular movies. Does that sound so bad?

Btw...I'm going to Harry Potter World for the first time in less than two weeks :)

Top 10 Disney Animal Sidekicks

I've recently done a list of the Top 10 Disney Heroes, which inspired me to do another Top 10 list. So, here is my Top 10 Disney Animal Sidekicks! A word of warning that this is not a top Disney animal list, but an animal sidekick list. Because of that distinction I won't be judging all-animal movies such as Finding Nemo, The Lion King, Dumbo, Bambi, Lady and the Tramp etc.. Also, Genie doesn't count as an animal. That said, please enjoy and tell me what you think!

10) Rajah

Movie: Aladdin
Personality: We don't get to spend much time with Rajah in the movie, but we can infer a bit about her personality. She's protective and caring, and she loves Jasmine a heck of a lot. I chose to place Rajah on this list rather than another character because she shows such maturity when she allows Jasmine to escape the palace even though she knows it might mean she never sees her again. Their little goodbye moment is touching!
Funny: ...not really. It's a bit funny that Rajah likes to bite the panties off Jasmine's suitors, but she's nowhere near as funny as other animal sidekicks.
Helpfulness: Rajah protects Jasmine from unwanted suitors and gives her a lift up the tree when she wants to escape--I'd call that pretty helpful.
Superlatives: Most Underappreciated


9) Meeko

Movie: Pocahontas
Personality: Meeko is curious. He steals John Smith's compas and is all about leaping before looking (literally). Like a child, he doesn't always think things through. He can also be a bit selfish (i.e. not sharing cherries with the pug and such) but he's a good little friend for Pocahontas anyway.
Funny: He's not the funniest, but he has his moments. In particular his whole gambit with the pug (whose name I think is Percy? Maybe?) although I never really cared for that. Even as a child I was like, Why is Meeko torturing that dog? Barney told me that sharing is good! Share the cherries!!
Helpfulness: I'll admit to not having seen Pocahontas in a while, but I don't remember Meeko being helpful. He was more there for comic relief, letting Pocahontas and John Smith do all the work in the movie by themselves.
Superlatives: Most Refreshing Innocence


8) Pegasus

Movie: Hercules
Personality: Pegasus is devoted to Hercules, and just wants to look out for him. He doesn't like Meg at first (jealousy or horsey-premonition of her deception?) but he eventually comes around when Hercules is in trouble, showing how much friendship means to him.
Funny: A bit, but not the funniest. He doesn't have any stand out funny moments. I do like how he flies higher to scare Meg, but that's a bit mean-spirited as well.
Helpfulness: Yes! Pegasus is always ready to fly Herc into battle, even at risk to his own life, showing no fear!
Superlatives: Cutest as a Baby


7) Jaq and Gus

Movie: Cinderella
Personalities: Jaq and Gus are two fun-loving little mice who only want to help Cinderella, thwart the evil women of the house, and get past Lucifer. Jaq is the more intelligent of the two, whereas Gus is more of the half-mentally-disabled friend. Kind of like George and Lennie from of Mice and Men!
Funny: They are funny, but in a juvenile sort of way. They have run ins with the cat, and do lots of physical comedy. I prefer verbal comedy more, but they're all right.
Helpfulness: I'd say they're helpful! They help to make and organize Cinderella's dress for the ball, and then when she's trapped in her room they fetch the key so she can escape and *ahem* meet the love of her life.
Superlatives: Size Doesn't Matter


6) Sebastian

Movie: The Little Mermaid
Personality: Sabastian is our oldest and most wise Disney Animal Sidekick. He is some kind of member of King Tritan's court, although it's unclear what he does (it looks like conducting, but he gets demoted to babysitter, basically). Sabastian has a tough shell, pun intended, but a soft heart. He originally is furious with Ariel and gets her in trouble with her father because he thinks it's for her own good. However, later on he lets her find her own way and encourages her and her father to let her do what makes her happy.
Funny: Yup! Sabastian's humor is more for adults than children (other than the cat-and-mouse scenes between him and the chef, which I never enjoyed) which makes sense since he is an adult character. But his song Under the Sea is hilarious!
Helpfulness: I would say yes. He doesn't overtly save Ariel's life or anything, but he does help her and give her advice. He sings to set the mood so she and Eric will kiss, and would have succeeded if not for those awful eels!
Superlatives: Best Singer, Most Wise

5) Khan

Movie: Mulan

Personality: Khan doesn't have much of a personality. She is always there for Mulan, and is certainly a heroic character, but her heroics are so easily overlooked because she is such a background kind of character. We can tell that she is intelligent, resilient, loyal, and brave though. Not exactly stand out features in a Disney movie, but she's pretty awesome all the same.

Funny: Not particularly. Other than her heroic moments, Khan is kind of a background character, not really being very expressive.

Helpfulness: Extremely so! Not only does Khan help Mulan escape her home and get her to the army, she also covers her after bathing in the pond. Her true shining moment though is when she freaking saves Mulan, Mushu, Cricket, and Shang from an avalanche! An avalanche! 

Superlatives: Most Helpful

4) Abu

Movie: Aladdin
Personality: Abu is Aladdin's monkey sidekick, and he is Aladdin's best friend in every way. This means that he's a little possessive of Aladdin, and thus is jealous whenever Jasmine comes into the picture. Abu isn't the first to share or to offer to do something nice for someone else, but he does eventually help, even if it is with a bit of bad grace. He's a thief, so you can expect that he puts a bit too much importance on money and materiel objects. Abu is impulsive, but quick-witted and crafty.
Funny: I should say so! One of my favorite Abu-parts of the movie is when he impersonates Jasmine, trying to look all sexy with curves--gets me every time!
Helpfulness: Definitely! Abu helps Aladdin steal food and run away from the guards, he helps get Jasmine away from the melon-vendor by pretending to be the sultan, and he helps break Aladdin out of jail! Or at least undoes his handcuffs. However, Abu also sets Aladdin back when he can't contain his greed in the Cave of Wonders. For the most part though, Abu is a kick-butt helpful sidekick!
Superlatives: Craftiest


3) Mushu

Movie: Mulan
Personality: Mushu is ambitious and he starts out the movie lying, but he eventually turns around, fesses up, and turns out to be a good guardian for Mulan. He also has a great sense of humor!
Funny: Very! Mushu has a great, sarcastic sense of humor. "Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!" lol
Helpfulness: He complicates matters (the whole Ping fiasco) when Mulan first arrives at camp, but he is helpful overall because he looks out for Mulan and helps her defeat the huns at the end.
Superlatives: Funniest

2) Flounder

Movie: The Little Mermaid

Personality: Flounder is a chicken. Wait--he's a fish, but he acts like a chicken. He's scared of everything. He's also loyal to Ariel, and thus is willing to ignore his fears and follow her anywhere. In this way, Flounder has a special kind of courage, he is the Neville Longbottom of fish.

Funny: Flounder isn't as funny as a lot of our Disney Animal Sidekicks, but his facial expressions when he's scared (see above picture) can be pretty chuckle inducing.

Helpfulness: Flounder doesn't save the day or rescue Ariel or anything like that, but he sticks by her and helps get her to the boat to stop Eric's wedding, so he is sorta helpful.

Superlatives: Most Like Neville Longbottom

1) Maximus

Movie: Tangled
Personality: Maximus is all that. He's fierce and determined, loyal and courageous, with a strong sense of what is right and talent out the wazoo. I have to give my props to Disney, because I don't know how they were able to show so much personality and life in a horse, but they did it. Maximus can sword fight, has a bloodhound's sense of smell, and can read wanted posters. He's just...so good...soo good. But he's not all badass, he's got a soft side for Rapunzel and eventually for Flynn as well.
Funny: His facial expressions are hilarious! I also love his rivalry with Flynn, cracks me up every time.
Helpfulness: Yes! I have no idea how since he doesn't talk, but somehow Maximus manages to rally a team together and bust Flynn Rider out of jail, saving him from the hangman's noose.
Superlatives: Most Talented, Most Expressive, Best Animated, Most Changed At End of Movie


There you have it! By the way, if you want a surefire way to ruin your childhood, Google images of Disney characters. Oh. My. God. The things people draw!


I am listening to Waka Waka by Shakira.

Dork Alert

I've given it quite a bit of thought and done hour after hour of research, and I've decided that I'm a waterbender. For those of you who don't get the reference, this is my way of saying I've just finished watched the Avatar the Last Airbender series! Woo!

I'm going to go ahead and warn you here that there are SPOILERS!! But I figure if you haven't watched the series by this point then you don't really care too much anyway...just be warned.

Yes, I realize how dorky this is. I saw bits and pieces of the first season years ago when I lived back home with two younger brothers and always wanted to watch it. So, I went to college, got a Netflix account, and a year later I decided to actually watch the show! Oh boy.

Let me start off by saying that I think this show has so much potential, and that I think the producers do a reasonably good job of fulfilling that potential. This is designed as a children's show, so they obviously can't go quite as in depth as I would have liked, but they do well. When I say that Avatar the Last Airbender has a lot of potential, I mean in the characters and the story. FOR INSTANCE!

The Bending: The idea of people being able to manipulate the elements, that they build cultures and societies around these elements, and that one special person can wield them all is fascinating. I especially liked that each element had its own bending style, such as the firebenders using a lot of sharp, punching movements that looked to me like a mix of martial arts and boxing, and the airbenders using more sweeping, arching motions. I also liked that the different elements the characters bended was reflected in their personalities--it was just cool and rang true to me.

I also liked that there was more to discover about the bending and all the different forms of bending within  an element. For instance, I loved the swamp benders and the sand benders. I also loved how Toph learns she can bend metal (something we're initially isn't supposed to be able to do) and, though scary, how Katara learns she can bend blood. Bending in itself is just cool. I mean, it's basically a super power, and who doesn't want super powers?!?

The Characters: I found the characters surprisingly well-developed. It started out rough, (the dialogue in the first few episodes killed me) but eventually the actors and writers found their groove. I felt like each characters' psychology, past, motivations, goals, weaknesses, and strengths were all laid out very well, especially for a children's show. I especially liked Zuko. He was attractive, which didn't hurt, but I liked that even from the beginning he was a bad guy we could love. He was sympathetic, his motivation and past were explained, so you didn't automatically write him off as evil, as black, as dark. The shades of gray about what is right and what is wrong in Avatar are very well done (I know I keep saying it but I'll say it again) especially for a children's show.

Katara is my least favorite character. I don't quite know why, but I didn't find her very likable. I really started not to like her the moment she stole the waterbending scroll from the pirates and chose to believe/trust Jett over Sokka. She's such a little whore too, isn't she? If George R.R. Martin wrote Avatar she'd be having sex left and right. She doesn't deserve Aang.

One of my favorite characters (besides Zuko and his uncle--I'm such a sucker for good-bad guys!) was Toph, but she also disappointed me. I felt like her character was the least developed. She had a few episodes where she was given a large emotional part to the story, but other than that she is just the sarcastic little blind girl. But I loved her! I thought she was so strong, and so talented, and I definitely thought she deserved to end up with someone--Aang, prefereably. I think they would have been good together.

The Story: My favorite season was the 2nd (Book Two, as they call it) because it was just so plotty. I love political intrigue kind of stories, so the whole spiel in Ba Sing Se with the Dai Li (spelling?) was really interesting and creepy to me. I felt like a lot was happening in this season as opposed to the third season. I felt like apart from the super long battle episodes, Book Three was pretty much all filler. Like that episode with the play--I could have done without that.

I really wish Avatar the Last Airbender was a series of books--adult books, or at least books that can bridge the gap like Harry Potter. Because, as I said, I feel like there is so much potential in the story and characters that just can't be fully realized in a children's show. I also feel like Season Two would make an awesome book--everything would be nice and spread out with lots of detail.

Now, as I said before, I've cast myself as a waterbender. Preferably to replace Katara. I chose waterbending very carefully and for several reasons.

1. I'm not strong enough for earthbending. I get scared at pretty much everything, I don't like rocks, and I definitely don't like rocks flying at me.
2. I'm not controlled enough for firebending. I wouldn't be able to handle the destructive power of firebending.
3. I want something a bit more substantial than freaking air to fight with. Also, I hate flying--all those bugs in your teeth!
4. Blue is my best color.
5. I've always wanted to go to the south pole.
6. I love the healing aspect of waterbending (fyi, if I had to pick a superpower, it'd be the regenerative power like Hayden Panatierre's on Heroes).

So there you have it! Whoo--JUST getting this in on my self-imposed Friday deadline. *pats self on back*