I pretty much fail at male-female interactions. For some reason, none of the boys I find cute or funny or smart ever seem to like me, whereas the creepers are all up on this. But I'm not here to rant about my lack-of-a-dating-life as a whole, but rather about one individual guy. The Asian.
Our neighbors were having an end of the year party before exams last semester, so we went over. We'd been to a few parties there before and recognized a lot of the faces so it was a pretty relaxed environment. But there were still a couple of people I didn't know, such as The Asian.
I didn't think anything of him. Honestly. I wasn't attracted to him, but he seemed friendly enough and joined into our conversations, but I didn't pay him any mind except to note that he was the only Asian at the party.
(As an aside here I think I should mention that for some reason Asian unnerve me. And I mean that in the least racist way possible. I don't think Asians are weird or that they are beneath me--I love them! I want to go to Japan more than I want to go to Ireland! But they still unnerve me. If I wanted to be analytical, I would say it had something to do with my Catholic school education until 8th grade, which meant that I never met an Asian until high school. But I don't want to be analytical.)
Anyway, I hardly even noticed The Asian. He was so under my radar, in fact, that "The Asian" isn't a psuedonym. I really can't remember his name. But I that doesn't mean he didn't notice me, cause he did. Quite a lot.
He spent the whole night trying to strike up a one-on-one conversation with me, which I politely deflected hoping he'd take the hint. He didn't, but I chocked that up to alcohol and moved on. Then he made me his "date" in Kings (Paste Spiel About The Dangers Of Underage Drinking Here). Okay, whatever. Then he started going on and on about how much I was drinking and how I was drinking him under the table.
Just to clarify, I don't drink that much. I hardly ever go to parties; I only went to 6 parties my whole sophomore year--they're just not my thing. Especially because I don't like beer or shots. I pretty much only do mixed drinks, so I'm a kind of high-maintenance drinker. I usually have 3-4 mixed drinks a night and I've never woke up hungover from it. So I'm not exactly Ms. Alcoholic, but I'm not a lightweight either.
The punch at this party was weak. I mean, really weak. So instead of having 3-4 drinks I had more like 5-6. The Asian kept talking about how I must drink all the time and that I'm probably a partier and that I'm drinking him under the table and that I can really hold my own and what's my gpa?
Are you kidding me? Not only is it a bummer to have this guy constantly telling me I'm practically an alcoholic, but he wants to talk about my GPA? At a party? Where I'm trying to relax before exam week and the last thing I want on my mind is my fucking GPA? And seriously, it's not my fault that he's such a lightweight he's drunk after 3 cups of the weakest party juice I've ever tasted. What a pansy.
But whatever. It gets late, my roomies and I stumble next door to go to bed. I've changed into my pajamas and am brushing my teeth when someone knocks on the door. Whitney goes to answer it and then comes back holding in laughter (really hard when you're drunk, btw) and says that The Asian and our friend Phil are at the door and they want to talk to me. Julia immediately falls to the floor laughing while I try and spit my toothpaste in the sink instead of letting it dribble down my shirt. I don't succeed.
So I go to the door in my snowflake-pajama bottoms and humongous t-shirt. The boys say hello, and then Phil asks if The Asian can have my number.
Whatthefuck.
He can't even ask me himself? He has to get his friend to ask? There is an audience? A combination of booze-impaired judgement and Phil's presence has me giving him my number. Then it gets awkward. Phil comes forward and gives me a hug goodnight and then I shut the door, punch Whitney for not saying I was already asleep, and go to bed. It wasn't until the next morning that I realized The Asian probably wanted a hug too and that I basically just slammed the door in their faces, but whatever. I figured that was the end of it. He was so drunk it wasn't likely he would text me anyway, right?
WRONG
Two nights later at four o'clock in the morning he texts: heyeyyy
I don't respond, and the next morning he texts again and apologizes. I text back "it's fine"
Now, let's have an exercise, shall we? Come on, it'll be fun. I'm going to put below the basics of how our conversation went down, and I want you to tell me how many times this guy was dropped on his head as a baby.
The Asian: Hey, sorry I texted you so late last night lol how're you?
Me: It's fine
The Asian: Ok haha how are you? you didn't come over for breakfast after the party, were you
hungover?
Me: No
The Asian: haha wow I'm impressed you can really hold your own lol I'm not gonna lie Phil pretty much had to babysit me the next morning lol
Me: NO RESPONSE
THE NEXT DAY
The Asian: Hey! How are you? lol lol
Me: fine
REPEAT FOR SEVERAL DAYS
The Asian: Hey haha we should grab lunch or something hahaha
Me: I'm actually pretty busy with exams coming up
The Asian: Haha okay okay I totally understand that is stressful what about after exams are finished lol we could eat
Me: Thank you, but I'm leaving on Wednesday right after my last exam
The Asian: Aww bummer lol I guess the plan from here would be to stay in touch over the summer and hang out next semester. lol I hope you have a great summer and I'll talk to you soon!!!
Me: Thank you, have a good summer too.
I know that I come off as slightly bitchy in these text message convos, but with exams and my internship messing up and planning for studying abroad next semester I didn't have time to deal with tip-toeing around his feelings.
Now, I don't know about y'all, but what I took away from that was that I was not interested. I was very curt in my replies, didn't continue the conversation if there was a way out, and politely excused myself from his date offer. I expected him to save his pride and drop it, never to hear from him again.
Summer starts and I get a new phone. Rather than going to Verizon to get my contacts transferred, I like to do it manually because it gives me a chance to delete all the unimportant/old numbers that I never use anymore. His was one of the ones to go.
I get a text "hey" from a number with a Clemson area code. I ignore it, because I figure if they really want to talk to me they'll text me again and then I'll worry about asking who they are and putting them in my new phone. Two days later they text again saying "hey there :)" I respond with "Hello, I recently got a new phone, who is this?" Guess who it is.
I didn't respond again after that and finally expected him to drop it. I'm starting to think I expect to much of him. Here's how it went down. These texts are word-for-word with the exception of his name.
The Asian: Hey
TWO DAYS LATER
The Asian: Hey there :)
Me: Hello. I recently got a new phone, who is this?
The Asian: Oh ha its no prob im sorry. Its Jake, Asian guy ha
TWO DAYS LATER
The Asian: This is Trudy right?
TWO DAYS LATER
The Asian: Hey
The Asian: Hey there
FOUR DAYS LATER
The Asian: Hey
If he texts me again I'm just going to have to be brutally straight with him, cause this is ridiculous. You think I'm being obvious, right? I'm not leading him on--or at least I haven't since that initial giving him my number thing. Any advice on how to say a straight "I'm not interested" without sounding like a complete bitch?
But on the other hand, who cares? I'm going to Italy next semester. It's not like Im gonna see him again, right? Right? Please say I'm right.
