I Want Yerr Booty!

I overheard the best conversation last night. My roommates and I were sitting in our living room, me writing a paper, Whitney watching videos on Youtube, and Julia studying. Apparently some drunk fellas decided to camp outside our door for a bit of a heart to heart. Two words, people: Thin. Walls. We could hear every word. Most of it was the usual stuff you'd expect: girls they'd bang, their gym routines, how they never called their parents (lookout, badasses) and how much they'd drunk that night. But then, oh but then.

Guy #1: "I really wanna get with this girl, but she keeps playing hard to get. I can tell she likes me though-"

Guy #2: "Duuudde, I totally know what you should do! Text her like a pirate!"

Guy #1: "What?"

Guy #2: "Yeah! It works, trust me. Just be all like, 'Ahoy there matey, I want yerr booty' and then they're all like, 'Aye Aye, Captain' and you're totally in. And then if she get's offended just say you meant treasure, not her ass. Works every time."

Guy #1: "Really? It works?"

Guy #2: "Yup. That's how Meghan and I started hooking up. Pirate talk totally turns her on."

Guy #1: "Dude..."

So there you go. If a guy starts texting you like a pirate, be wary, cause apparently it's a trap. If you want to text like a pirate, here's a link. I must say, pirates are kind of dirty! If a guy texts WTTMM? Just say no.

In other news, I have a Boy Problem. There is a boy in my english class, let's call him K. K and I sit next to each other and partner up whenever we have pair exercises. He is friendly and has a twang and is not attractive in the slightest. We happened to walk to class together on Wednesday and chatted about Philosophy and God (Yeah, I have deep conversations, what of it?) on the way. Now, today he waited for me and walked me to class. The awkwardness that ensued went something like this:

Me: So...how'd you do on that prompt? I'm not sure I used passive voice like she wanted.
K: Yeah, it was hard.

Silence. I bite my tongue and look around desperately for something to talk about.

Me: Do you have any fun plans this weekend?
K: I'll probably go to a party tonight. What about you?
Me: No plans yet. I have a paper due so I'll have to devote at least a day to that. I haven't done any of the readings yet, the teacher is so boring! He...

I tell an anecdote about my weird teacher. K laughs.

K: Well, if you don't have any plans you should come to the party. Do you know where The Reserve is?
Me: *OH-SHIT eyes* Uh, yeah, I know where it is.
K: It'll be fun, you should come. It probably won't start til later.
Me: Haha yeah it's only 10 am now so I would assume it would start later haha
K: You should come.
Me: Haha yeah I'll see what we're doing.

Walk up stairs in silence.

Me: I have to pick up a package from the post office after this.
K: Oh, yeah. Can I ask you something?
Me: ...sure.
K: We should exchange numbers.
Me: ...okay. Was that your question?
K: *Pulls out phone* What's your number?

Does anyone else see that this is awkward? That it's weird? I don't mind him having my number, but...we've only talked twice! This being the second time! He is sweet but sooo not my type, but I don't want to hurt his feelings. This is starting to sound like a bad YA novel, but I'm just so confused. I didn't send any signals! I didn't flirt or go out of my way to talk to him or do anything other than be nice! Is that all it takes? Being nice? If so then I should have a hell of a lot more suiters than I do. Cute suiters, who play sports and drive motorcycles. Why? He hasn't texted me yet. I'm unsettlingly anxious for it, like in a scary movie when you just know something is going to pop out at you. This is not how love feels.

Other than that, we had workshop today in my Structure of Fiction class where we all got into groups of four and critiqued each other's scenes. Everyone seemed to like mine for the most part, which made me happy. One of my biggest faults is that I don't take criticism well, so this class is going to force me to get over that. I'm going to polish the story up a bit and then would like to post it on here sometime soon. Beware, there be cursing, matey!

I am listening to a cover of When I Grow Up by Mayday Parade.